I hate a love-hate relation to anime, yes. I've seen my share of those strange and yet compelling and increasingly ubiquitous cartoons and I've got more than a few words to say about each of them.
But why should you care?
Why should you care about what I have to say about the following series? Simple. Because I can like animes. But I can also hate them.
You see, if you ever, for some forsaken reason, go to an anime hosting site, you will see that they have a whole lot of anime, and a whole lot of anime with positive scores.
Oh, that must mean they're good, right?
That's what I thought. But no, what you are really seeing are lies. Undeniable proof:
The people who frequent these kinds of websites--who watch the shows and rate them--love anime. They love it to death and that's why after seeing a series, no matter how painful and atrocious it is, they'll always rate 5/5.
I visit some review websites from time to time, where you are supposed to find a more, for lack of a better word, professional--ok, fine, maybe not "professional," but at least a more experienced--opinion on an anime. BUT THEY ARE ALMOST NEVER, EVER RELIABLE.
In fact, I've never seen a series rated anywhere below three stars. Does that mean the Japanese are rembrandts in film making, making masterpiece after masterpiece? Well, being cynical as I am, I'd say that is as true as Wind Waker being a good Zelda game and Obama being the best candidate in the 2008 election (because, let's be honest, he is no Ron Paul).
Who is Ron Paul? Oh, nobody special really. Just the man who could have saved America.
Anyway, I will update from time to time. I may be writing to a void, but if these would so help a vagabond soul who stumbles across this lonely blog, it is well worth the effort.
Finished
FLCL
Greatest anime ever made. It had a lot of symbolism for growing-up angst and A LOT of sexual innuendo, but what makes it so great is that it’s just insane (zany, while not overdoing it).And with fighting robots, Gibson guitars that open inter-dimensional portals in foreheads, and alien chicks who fall in love with their captives and run over people with mopeds, how could you make a bad show?
Deathnote
Usually, the popular animes suck really badly: filled with bad writing, shameless filler episodes, and mediocre art. However, this one had masterful writing, outstanding pacing, originality, drama- the list could go on. It’s the only series that seemed to have no quota on number of episodes, kept up the energy throughout, and ended according to story, not to funding.
Evangelion
It was decent. Nice subtle use of symbolism and how they went from a hard sci-fi (robots) to soft sci-fi (psychology). The last episodes WERE FINE. Yes, hard to understand so you’d have to watch it a few times more (sign of bad writing, really).
End of Evangelion
Worst movie I’ve ever seen. The Director got pissed when people hated the last two episodes of the series, so he made this movie to replace them, unleashing his anger and pain of the audience, and I felt it. Worst pacing, worst writing (you have to watch the movie 30 times to understand it), and worst ending to a series. The weird thing is that in the effort of making it the most unbearable movie EVER MADE, everyone loved it. Un-fucking-believable.
Love Hina (All OVA except Again)
Classified.
Aoi Yori Aoshi
Worst anime ever made. It was so painful to watch that it destroyed my humanity, sucked away my soul, and made me a shell of a man so jaded that, after the character Tina (the only good thing about the show) entered a love triangle, I put on some boots, went outside, found a basket of orphaned kittens, and stepped on their heads.
Generator Gawl
One of the most underrated animes ever made. The best use of a romantic sub-plot (none), good characterization, good insights into the ethics of stem cell research, and awesome fighting scenes made each episode of this short, but sweet series a great watch.
Read or Die
It was ok. Music owned and the action was alright.
R.O.D. TV
I liked it; you probably won't. It was a lot slower that the R.O.D. OVA and had a stupid final showdown. When a character says the words “I’ve come to a realization…,” hit fast forward.
El Hazard: The Alternative World
Boring as Hell. Those perverted little kids creep me out. I didn’t care at all for the story or the characters.
Negima!
Another bore-fest. It wouldn’t be so bad if the series put more energy into making me care about the characters, but since there were so many, I don’t know how that could have happened. With the lack of a convincing threat or plot, the only thing I liked was the character Nodoka, and that’s it.
Haibane Renmei
Another underappreciated gem. The series felt like a “slice-of-life”—letting the story unfold before you, instead of shoving a plot down your throat at the start. The character development was excellent, mostly because the script treated the characters as if they were real people. A lot of interpretation is left to the viewers, but a good story, nonetheless, keeps them watching.
His and Her Circumstances (Kare Kano)
It was a romance, yes, but it wasn’t bad (amazing, I know), but only thanks to Gainax. What I liked was the style and variety. What I didn’t like was that asshole Arima. If I was that tanned, tall guy, I would kick Arima’s ass if he tried to intimidate me like that. And another thing, the tanned, tall guy. I liked him because he came back, after all those years, to take his revenge on that girl, BUT HE DROPS THE BALL AND FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER INSTEAD. Good going, shithead! Such a disappointment.
Ah! My Goddess! (first season)
I don't know. The only reason why I thought this series was decent was because I watched it after Aoi Yori Aoshi. I was so traumatized after that series that I could watch an ugly man running around naked molesting children for twenty-four hours and think it was good. Ok, that was too much, I apologize.
Vandread
Boring. Incredibly contrived Star Wars themed harem. Why do Empires have to suck so much? Why can’t someone make an Empire that kicked some major ass, like in Star Wars, but with Stormtroopers that could actually shoot main characters?
Final Fantasy Unlimited
ZZzzz.
Lost Universe
Stupid. I mean really stupid. When one of the DVD boxes has a toilet on the cover, you get the message loud and clear. Shameless rip-off of Star Wars, but only towards the end of the series. I guess they lost so many ratings that they had to bite something good to keep it going. Voices sucked, too; squeaky, irritating voices bitching and saying stupid stuff all the time.
Azumanga Diaoh
One of the greatest animes ever. Again, a “slice-of-life” style where there is no immediate goal and the plots unfold before you. The characters are the strongest point—they’re creative and unique and their development is well constructed. Very, very entertaining, and a show I’d actually advise to see a dubbed version of (but the only one, so shove it, Naruto-lovers)
Vexille
Ok anime. Got the ingredients of a movie great (good script, robots, chicks with guns). With even my bias against CG, I’d say the animation kicked some serious ass. The soundtrack took a crap during some parts though. I’d definitely suggest it for anyone who is up for a good, ol’ fashioned sci-fi.
Some states are considering making vision tests for elderly drivers to ensure that they are physically fit to drive safely. Some people say it's good, I say it's not good enough.
Why are people being so soft on old people? Oh, only make their vision tests hard. Oh, only make their test frequent. Bah! I say ban them from driving entirely.
I mean, what's the point for old people to drive? They're old! They should be taking a public transportation. Hell, they should be tied to their homes or, better yet, retirement homes. That way, we don't have to worry about a family of seven getting run over by some driver who wasn't distracted by talking on a- er, being old!
In fact, as science tells us, the probability of older people getting in an accident is severely higher than that of a younger person getting in an accident. Yeah, that's right. It's because our eyesight degrades as we get older, as does our motor abilities, reaction time, and doughnut-making abilities--skills crucial to driving and driving safely.
That's why I pay such a great insurance rate--not because I'm in college, but because I am young, have optimal eyesight, and therefore highly unlikely to get into an accident.
We just have to let those young people at Washington do their job and make a law banning old people from getting near a car ever again, to make the rest of us safe. After all, they know what's best for old people, and once they get to that age, they'll know that they made the right decision.
"Hasta la vista, baby." was voted as the #76 movie quote by the American Film Institute (out of 100).
If you don't know where movie this line comes from: seriously, where did you come from? La Migra asks everyone questions about this movie for proof of legal status. If you're ever caught and put in the cage for them to deport you, tell them you know why the T-1000 was only able to form solid objects with its body, and they'll let you out! Really! Or at least they should...
I would be mentally inept to call this movie anything short of a paradigm. Its got everything a movie great needs: marvelous script, timeless lines, immersible story, thoughtful meaning, good acting, a chick with a gun, explosions, time travel, and robots. Plus it captures James Cameron's genius before he sold out, betrayed his divine purpose on this Earth, and made Titanic.
Sure, some people are going to shrug off my opinion. But those are the same people who consider dramas "real" movies. Tools.
I’ve never really liked the AFI actually. I mean an “institute” of film (who, just like the uber-pretentious, snobby academies, permanently have a bug up their ass) that kicks Fargo off its list of greats while reducing the greatest line in a movie ever to a #76 spot has serious problems.
I know they want to keep all the classics in the game, but there's something about everything going silent for you to say a kick-ass line like “Hasta la vista, baby” right before you shatter a shape-shifting cyborg assassin into a million pieces with a single handgun shot that just makes it infinitely more appealing.
